I was pissed! I had an extremely difficult day at work and I could not wait to get home. I ran to the train station in anticipation of kissing my babies and jumping in my bed. The trains were on time and I was excited. So I thought. The train stopped for 20 minutes underground because someone pulled the emergency brake. As we sat on the train listening to the conductor recite the same phrase over and over again “I’m sorry for the delay, the emergency brake was pulled and a supervisor is investigating the cause”. He repeated that phrase about 6 times before the train finally moved. The young girl sitting right beside me rolled her eyes about 8 times (yes I counted) and blew her breath about 20 times. A man sitting on the other side of the train car was screaming at the top of his lungs “Stupid MTA”, someone eventually yelled “Shut up” to get him to stop. This sounds fictional right no it happened just yesterday. We finally started moving and the remainder of the ride was smooth. I got home immediately started dinner for the kids and went down to speak to my landlord about a few issues. It went left! My nerves were all over the place because I really wanted to let him have it! I expressed myself very firmly and asked that he not speak to me in that tone ever again. But…he proceeded to make a harsh statement about my children. Ok, hold up! My kids are off limits! I felt the hair on my back raise (I don’t have hair on my back, just a figure of speech). As we continued back and forth and I let him know a few things, I felt like it was time to head upstairs to my apartment to finish dinner and get on my knees in prayer. I needed answers as to why I just experienced a day like today.
I have been in the book of Ephesians for the past week and God has really been ministering to me. I have read the book of Ephesians about 10 times but each time God gives me new insight. After I prayed that night I remained quiet to hear what God had to say to me. Do you know that we are all God’s children? He died for all. He reminded me of His passionate love towards me. The burning love I have for my own children is the same love He has for me. Pretty much don’t mess with me! No, but for real the same way I jumped in defense of my children is the same way He jumps to our defense when someone hurts us with words or actions. See Romans 8. I felt better but I could not let go of the words spoken to me about my children. Ok now fast forward to the next morning which is today. I continued on in my bible reading in Ephesians. Wow! I was immediately checked. Ephesians 4:22–32 states: “That you put off your former conduct” (the old Cynthia, that would’ve gone upside the Landlord’s head) and be renewed in the Spirit of your mind”. We need to put on the new “self” and not let the sun go down while still angry. We have to be kind to one another (rolling my eyes) and forgive because God forgives us daily. I was like fine God! Seriously I felt lighter. God can’t vindicate on your behalf if you are always clapping back at people. Or replaying the scenario in your mind and looking for ways to retaliate. So if you had a rough day yesterday or can’t let go of something someone said or did in the past, I would encourage you to read Ephesians 4 and let God minister to your heart. Maybe it’s time to have a heart and mind check.
My prayer for you and I is that we never allow a person or situation to emotionally rule over us. God uses these experiences to build our character. God’s mercies are fresh and brand new each day and today is another chance to get it right. (Lamentations 3:22-23).
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